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Telling Your Team Something Once Isn't Leadership

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I told my team we needed to cut vendor spend by 20%. They nodded in the meeting. Six weeks later, nothing had changed. I was furious. They weren't listening. Except that wasn't the problem. The problem was I thought telling them was the same as leading them. It's not. You Think They Heard You. They Didn't. Here's what leaders get wrong: we think communication is transmission. We say the thing. We said it clearly. We even put it in writing. Box checked. Message sent. But your team heard something completely different. An engineering manager I coached wanted his team to test code during reviews. He told them once in a standup. Nothing changed. When we dug into it, his team thought testing was QA's job. Why spend extra time when QA will catch it anyway? He never explained that bugs caught in code review cost the team two hours. Bugs caught in QA cost two days. He thought it was obvious. It wasn't. When I told my engineering team to tighten up release notes to...

You Hired Someone to Do the Work. Now the Work Has Changed. And They're Not Coming With You.

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  This is the gap most leaders don't want to name: the role evolved, but the person didn't. You've communicated the shift. Set new expectations. Explained why the team needs direction-setters, not just content producers. They heard you. They're just choosing not to adapt. Here's what's really happening They think they were hired to sit quietly and produce. And maybe they were. But that's not the job anymore. The problem isn't that they misunderstood. It's that they're actively resisting. They're holding onto work they should delegate. Slowing things down. Making the new model fail so they can prove the old one was better. And you're stuck managing around it—reassigning work, over-explaining, wondering if you're being clear enough. You are. They just don't want to change. So what do you do? Stop trying to convince them. Start documenting what's not happening. Name it directly: "The role now requires X. You're...

Managing Managers Isn’t About Control — It’s About Clarity

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You just got promoted. Congratulations. You’re now leading managers, the people who lead the people. That means your job has changed in a fundamental way. You’re no longer the person who does the work or even directly manages those who do it. You’re the person who creates enough clarity that others can lead effectively without you. The First Shock: Progress Feels Slower When you managed individuals, you could move fast, jump into the details, fix issues, and see progress that same afternoon. Now? Everything feels slower. Not because your team is weaker, but because your intent has to travel through two layers of interpretation. Every gap in clarity multiplies as it moves down the org chart. Your new challenge isn’t doing more; it’s being understood faster. Your Real Work Is the Communication Loop Clarity doesn’t end when you hit “Send” or finish a meeting. You have to close the loop.; That means: Checking that your message landed the way you intended Listening for how it’s bei...

The Respect Paradox: Why Proving Yourself Makes Experienced People Trust You Less

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You just got promoted. Congratulations. Now you're leading someone who's been doing this work since before you graduated college. Maybe they started at the company when you were in high school. Maybe they interviewed you once and didn't hire you. And now you're their manager. Here's the paradox: New leaders think they need to prove they deserve the role before they can lead experienced people. But experienced people won't follow you until you show them you value their experience. Most new managers get this backwards. They think their job is to have answers. So they start managing everyone the same way. "Here are your assignments. Here are the deadlines. Let me know if you have questions." That approach fails with experienced people. Not because they won't do the work, but because you just told them their 15 years of experience doesn't matter. What New Leaders Mistake for Respect You think treating everyone equally is fair. It's not. It'...

I'm Managing My Former Peers. Now What?

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You just got promoted. Congratulations. You're now managing people who were your equals last week. Here's what nobody tells you: the hardest part isn't managing your former peers. It's that you haven't stopped being their peer yet. The Problem Isn't Your Old Relationships Most advice about managing former peers focuses on "establishing authority" or "setting boundaries." That's not wrong, but it misses the real issue. The problem is you're still thinking like a peer. You still wait for consensus before making calls. You still answer every question directly instead of asking why they're asking. You still treat decisions like group projects instead of your job. Your team isn't confused about the org chart. They're confused because you are. What It's NOT It's not treating everyone the same. You think fairness means acting like nothing changed. It doesn't. Your friend who struggles with deadlines needs different m...

Your Peers Control Your Success. Here's How to Build Those Relationships.

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Your project just got killed in a meeting you weren't invited to. The VP who torpedoed it? You've never had a real conversation with them. This happens more than you think. Most leaders schedule 1-on-1s with their directs and skip-levels. Almost nobody schedules them with peers. That's leaving influence on the table. Why sideways relationships matter more than you realize Your next project will require budget from Finance, support from IT, or alignment with Operations. If the first time you're talking to those leaders is when you need something, you're already behind. The pattern I see constantly: Leaders who struggle to get things done often have great relationships up and down the org chart, but nothing sideways. "Build relationships before you need them. If the first time you're talking to those leaders is when you need something, you're already behind." How to actually do this Start simple. Pick 3-5 peers in other departments. Send a calenda...

The Communication Gap That Triggers Micromanagement (And How to Close It)

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 After 15 years leading teams, I've seen this pattern dozens of times: talented people getting micromanaged not because they're struggling, but because they're invisible.  Their manager doesn't know what's happening, so they start digging. Here's how to break the cycle before it starts. Are you frustrated with your manager's over-involvement in your projects? Do they check in on your status too often? Does your manager think they know more about the work than you do? What about those times when they redo your work for no reason? You have to wonder: with how busy our managers must be, how do they find so much time to control everything? The Micromanagers To understand how to fix this, we need to explore why different managers end up micromanaging. Over time, I've observed various kinds of micromanagement, each with distinct ways and reasons for managers to get over-involved. These are not one-size-fits-all situations. At some point, every manager will...