It’s Not Your Manager’s Stress, It’s Yours

Do you find yourself dreading the start of the workday?  Are you feeling tired or just plain overwhelmed with everything you need to get done?  Unfortunately, you are not alone. According to a recent Work in America Survey, 57% of us experience negative impacts of stress.

You can reduce stress at work, even with a demanding manager or environment. Let’s examine how you increase stress by not getting clear on priorities, making assumptions, and protecting your reputation.

No Priorities

Is your to-do list a never-ending assortment of everything brought to your attention? Are you often overwhelmed with the sheer volume of work? You may find yourself jumping from task to task, never feeling like you've accomplished anything significant.

Not having a defined direction leads to stress and pressure as you struggle to determine what should be done first. Additionally, without clear priorities, you may end up spending too much time on less important tasks, leaving you feeling pressured to catch up on the essential ones. This lack of focus and organization can significantly contribute to your stress.

A Stress-Free Task List

Getting clear on what you need to do and in what order will go a long way in helping you control your stress. Often, we feel overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done when we aren’t clear about their level of importance. Here are some steps to take in getting that task list under control. Start by ruthlessly prioritizing and then choosing things that just aren’t going to get done.

Ruthlessly Prioritize

Decide your focus for the day at the beginning of each week and each day. Be ruthless by only allowing a single task at each priority level.  There can only be a single number one priority and a single number two priority. I like to use the Urgent Important Matrix to do this.

As a summary:

Important but Not Urgent: Most of our time should be focused on this. We should create plans and work towards our longer-term goals, which should also help avoid Urgent tasks.

Urgent and Important: These are crises. These require us to stop and handle the situation, no questions asked. We want to spend very little time here.

Urgent but Not Important: These are interruptions. Remember to allow time for them, but not at the expense of important tasks.

Not Urgent and Not Important: These are distractions. These should be delegated or not done at all.

Choose Not To

Destress your task list by removing things from it. This can mean delegating, delaying, or just not doing something. Using your urgent important matrix and priority list, identify what can be delegated or delayed.  Actively look for and remove things from your to-do list. Yes, you can choose not to do tasks.

If you delegate something, then walk away from it. Now, that task is someone else's to work on.

When choosing something not to do, ask yourself, “When will someone ask for a follow-up on this?” If the answer is never or a long time in the future, then don’t do it. You can always add it to your list if someone requests an update.

Assuming

Do you know your boss will ask you to do that task? Are you waiting until you have finished that task before asking for feedback? What about that vacation your co-worker is taking? You may not realize it, but you are likely increasing your stress by doing things nobody expects of you.

One of the most significant stress areas for teams is taking on extra work that the business doesn’t expect or need. These can take many forms, but here are a few scenarios I have witnessed:

We believe our manager will ask us to pick up the slack for someone going on vacation or leaving the team, so we add their tasks to our list and start working. 

If someone asks a question or a favor, we know that it isn’t our job, but we can figure it out quickly and get back to work.

Our managers are busy, so we don’t want to interrupt them with something incomplete.

A Stress-Free Work Life

You can reduce stress by showing your work and asking for more feedback. Use the information below to clarify what others need from you.

Show Your Work

This is about proactively collaborating with your manager on your plans and what they expect of you. Commit to intentionally overcommunicating what you are planning and where you are on projects. Also, ask your manager about their plans. Bring questions that allow you some insight into what they expect and share how you plan to meet those expectations.

 “I noticed that X is going to be on vacation. What is your plan for when they are out?” or “How would you expect us to handle questions from X team?”

Check out this post for more details: Stop Managing Up and Start Showing Your Work.

More Feedback

Many of us can admit to perfectionism, which can drive a lot of stress. Perfectionism often keeps us from sharing our work before it is complete, leading to us doing more than is needed, taking time away from the next task, or causing rework when something changes. Unfortunately, with a lack of information and updates, people often assume nothing is happening. This perception can cause many managers to amplify the pressure to see progress.

Combat this by proactively showing where you are and getting incremental feedback about what you are doing. It shows you are making progress and heads off many potential changes.

Check out this post for ideas on asking for feedback: Hey Boss, Feedback Please.

Your Reputation

Are you the person who always does what you say and is ahead of schedule? Are you the person your manager comes to for those important projects because they can trust you?

I argue that you are influencing unnecessary stress by driving to maintain that Ironman reputation at work. The pressure to uphold the expectations you have set for yourself can create anxiety and doubt.  Driving to prove yourself likely causes you to put in extra effort, sacrificing personal time.

A Stress-Free Reputation

Maintaining and improving your reputation and keeping your stress level in check is possible. Ultimately, you will be a better employee if you shed some stress. Here are two concepts to put into practice. First, get realistic about your time. Then, share when you can get something done.

Budget Your Time

Start treating time as currency and creating time budgets for your work, especially around recurring tasks and managing interruptions. Set aside dedicated time to plan what you will do each day of the week. Remove meetings you don’t need to attend, especially those double—and triple-booked slots. Then, allocate time slots to work on your top priorities. For those recurring tasks, set a time limit for how long you spend on them before moving on to something else.  Be sure to leave some free time to take breaks and allow time to shift gears.  Your goal for each day should be about being productive, not about keeping busy.  I recommend committing to one and only one thing per day.

Inevitably, someone will swing by and ask for a moment or a favor. You don’t have to drop everything for them right then. If you are in the middle of a task, take a quick look at your schedule and offer them a time when you will be available to give them your complete focus.  Most people will appreciate you making any time for them, even if it isn’t immediate.

Share Your Schedule

Good customer service is about knowing what to expect, not being fast.

Not everything that someone brings you is urgent. Let that sink in; not everything needs to be done right now. Now that you clearly understand your priorities and schedule, you can easily and quickly tell others when you can fit their request. Provide excellent customer service by telling people when to expect your time.

This looks like saying, “I can get that done by next Thursday. Does that work for you?” or “I’m working on X right now; I can tackle that starting on Wednesday.”

Wrapping It Up

You can manage your workplace stress by defining clearly and ruthlessly prioritizing tasks. Try utilizing the Urgent Important Matrix to identify and focus on tasks that truly matter, delegating and choosing not to do less critical ones. Additionally, avoid assuming additional responsibilities or tasks not explicitly assigned to you. Instead, seek feedback and collaborate with your manager to ensure clarity and alignment on expectations. This proactive approach can help reduce stress and create a more balanced work life.

If you could use some additional help figuring out how to take control of your stress, or you are looking for a new perspective on your career development, reach out, and let's chat about how I might help.