Hey Boss, Feedback Please!

Are you looking to level up or improve at your job but struggling to get good feedback from your manager? This post will explore how you can take the lead in getting great feedback from your manager.

Walk A Minute in Their Shoes

Let’s start with a little perspective from your manager’s point of view. Most managers started as people doing the work, probably a similar job as you.  Often, they were promoted because they were one of the best at that job.  Unfortunately, most of the time, people are moved to management roles with little to no training. Remember, they are people doing their best, just like you. Likely, they don’t receive good feedback or have a mentor available either.

Know that feedback is difficult to give, especially negative feedback. Our brains always jump to the worst-case scenario, making us scared to deliver information we know people need. For many people, giving feedback can be worse than public speaking. Without training, many managers will avoid sharing feedback until the situation is so extreme that they have no choice.

One more idea to keep in mind.  Your manager likely has many responsibilities, including the others who report to them, the projects they are responsible for, and working through their career goals. As a result, they may not spend much, if any, time thinking specifically about coaching feedback for you directly.  It is likely that they just don’t have any feedback for or about you.

You Can Do Something About This

It is rare to find a manager who is unwilling to help someone interested in improving. Improving helps you and your manager. Ultimately, you will need to take the lead and initiate the conversation.

Do Your Prep Work

Take some time to think about specific areas you would like to improve. It is easier to get feedback when you can be specific about what. Think about these questions.

• Where am I not doing my best work?
• What situations are difficult for me?
• What projects would I like to take on?
• What new skills do I want to be part of my job?
• Am I looking for a promotion?

Next, make sure that you are ready to receive feedback.  Do not start the conversation if you are having a bad day or frustrated with something at work. Remember that feedback is hard to give; you want to make it as easy as possible. Your attitude will significantly impact the quality of feedback you receive.

Finally, be prepared to be patient. Your manager will likely need some time to think about your request.

Start the Conversation

In a one-on-one or other private conversation with them, tell your manager that you are looking to improve yourself and would like feedback on areas to focus on.  Share some of the specific areas from your preparation.

Share that you are happy to give them time to think about it. Follow up with an email or other written message to say that you look forward to receiving their feedback. Remind them of the specific areas you would like to improve.

Here are some more specific questions that I find helpful when asked:

• “What is a goal you have for me?”
• “What more can I do to achieve that goal?”
• “I would like to take on a personal challenge. Do you have any suggestions?”
• “What could I have done better on my last project?”
• “What is something I can work on to prepare me for my next promotion?”

Receive the Feedback

When your manager is ready, ask for their feedback. Remember to make sure you are prepared to receive feedback.  Receiving negative feedback is difficult. You must receive it well, or you will make it more difficult for them next time. Even if you disagree with the feedback, just say “Thank you” and “I will work on that.”  

DO NOT try to explain or justify why you did or do what they are giving feedback on.

DO ask follow-up questions and ask for their help in improving in those areas. This will let them know you are listening and clear on what they are saying.

• Do you have any advice on steps I can take to work on that?
• How do you handle situations like that?
• Do you have suggestions on training material?

Follow Up

Take time and truly work to build new habits around their feedback.  After some time, follow up with your manager. Share what you have been doing based on their feedback. Ask if they are seeing any change.

“I have been trying … to work on your feedback. Have you noticed any improvement? Can you think of something else I could try?”

Wrap It Up

Unfortunately, your manager probably doesn’t have great training.  They also likely don’t spend as much time thinking about you as you believe, which is probably good.  For most people, if their manager is focused on them, it is not for good reasons.

You can take the lead in asking for feedback.  Take some time to prepare, making sure you know what areas you would like feedback about. Make it easy for them to give you feedback by asking specific questions and giving them time to think about it.  Receive the feedback well by saying “Thank you” and no more. Finally, follow up with them to see if your changes are working.

If you could use some additional help figuring out how to ask for feedback, or you are looking for a new perspective on your career development, reach out, and let's chat about how I might help.