Telling Your Team Something Once Isn't Leadership

I told my team we needed to cut vendor spend by 20%. They nodded in the meeting. Six weeks later, nothing had changed. I was furious. They weren't listening.

Except that wasn't the problem.

The problem was I thought telling them was the same as leading them. It's not.

You Think They Heard You. They Didn't.

Here's what leaders get wrong: we think communication is transmission. We say the thing. We said it clearly. We even put it in writing. Box checked. Message sent.

But your team heard something completely different.

An engineering manager I coached wanted his team to test code during reviews. He told them once in a standup. Nothing changed. When we dug into it, his team thought testing was QA's job. Why spend extra time when QA will catch it anyway? He never explained that bugs caught in code review cost the team two hours. Bugs caught in QA cost two days. He thought it was obvious. It wasn't.

When I told my engineering team to tighten up release notes to cut vendor costs, they heard: "Jesse wants better documentation." What I meant was: "This vendor charges us per revision. Vague release notes create more revisions. We control the spend."

They didn't ignore me. They just didn't understand what I was actually asking them to do. Why would they? I never explained how the vendor works. I never showed them the connection between their release notes and our budget. I just told them to do something and expected them to figure out why it mattered.

That's not leadership. That's wishful thinking.

What You're Really Doing Wrong

You're treating communication like a checklist item. Said the thing once? Done. Move on.

Research shows employees need to hear something 3 to 5 times before they act on it. But that's not your real problem. Your real problem is you're counting announcements instead of building understanding.

Every frustrated leader I've coached has this same story. "I told my team to follow the release procedure. I told them customers come first. I told them we need to focus on priorities this quarter."

You told them. Great. Did you convince them?

Did you explain why it matters? Did you show them how it connects to their work? Did you help them see what happens if they don't do it? Did you check if they actually understood?

Or did you just say it once and assume your title did the rest?

The One Thing You Need to Stop

Stop treating communication as a one-time effort.

I say this to every leader I coach: the most important thing you can do is talk to your team. That often involves repeating yourself. You can't share your goals once and move on. You have to find a way to say them every day.

I have a saying: "7 times 7 ways, that's how people learn." But here's what we forget—that's 7 times per person. In a 10-person team, you're looking at 70 repetitions. Not because your team isn't listening. Because their job is to focus on getting their tasks done. Your job is to think ahead. Your job is to think big. Their job is to take action based on the facts in front of them. They don't have the context you have in your head.

When I finally figured out my vendor spend problem, I didn't send another email. I sat with my team. I walked them through the vendor's billing. Scheduled information sharing sessions with the vendor. I showed them multiple examples of vague release notes, and what they cost us. I asked what questions they had. Then I revisited the topic in the next three one-on-ones.

And you know what happened? They fixed it. Not because they suddenly started listening. Because I finally started leading.

How to Actually Lead the Message

Here's what changed for me, and what I now coach other leaders to do:

Give them the why. Don't assume they see what you see. I thought it was obvious that vague release notes cost money. It wasn't obvious. They didn't know how the vendor worked. 

Context isn't a luxury. It's the whole job.

Check for understanding, not compliance. Asking "Does that make sense?" in a meeting gets you nothing. Ask: "Walk me through how this changes your process." If they can't explain it back, they don't understand it yet.

Repeat yourself without apologizing. You're not nagging. You're reinforcing. Every time you reference the goal, you're giving them another chance to understand it, remember it, and connect it to their work.

Make it a conversation, not a broadcast. I should have asked my team: "What would you need to know about this vendor to help us cut costs?" That question would have surfaced the gap immediately. Instead, I talked at them and wondered why nothing changed.

The Real Work of Leadership

Leadership isn't about being right. It's not about saying the thing clearly. It's about helping your team understand what you understand so they can do what needs to be done.

You told them. Good. That was step one.

Now do the actual work: help them learn it, believe it, and act on it. That takes time. It takes repetition. It takes checking in, adjusting, and yes, saying it again in a different way.

If you're frustrated that your team isn't doing what you asked, look in the mirror first. Did you tell them, or did you lead them?

There's a difference. Your results will show you which one you actually did. Your team already knows.

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You're great at the work. Let's make it visible.

If this sounds familiar and you're ready to turn telling into leading, let's talk. jessestaffordcoaching.com.