Your Peers Control Your Success. Here's How to Build Those Relationships.


Your project just got killed in a meeting you weren't invited to. The VP who torpedoed it? You've never had a real conversation with them.

This happens more than you think. Most leaders schedule 1-on-1s with their directs and skip-levels. Almost nobody schedules them with peers. That's leaving influence on the table.

Why sideways relationships matter more than you realize

Your next project will require budget from Finance, support from IT, or alignment with Operations. If the first time you're talking to those leaders is when you need something, you're already behind.

The pattern I see constantly: Leaders who struggle to get things done often have great relationships up and down the org chart, but nothing sideways.

"Build relationships before you need them. If the first time you're talking to those leaders is when you need something, you're already behind."

How to actually do this

Start simple. Pick 3-5 peers in other departments. Send a calendar invite for 30 minutes monthly or quarterly.

The format that works:

  • 10 minutes: What's keeping you up at night?
  • 10 minutes: What I'm working on
  • 10 minutes: Where might we help each other?

What to avoid:

  • Making it transactional (don't lead with asks)
  • Canceling when things get busy (that's when you need them most)
  • Only meeting when there's a problem

What good looks like

You know someone well enough to:

  • Understand their priorities (not just your needs)
  • Text them a quick question
  • Give them a heads up before surprises hit

Real example: A tech leader I coached scheduled quarterly coffee with the CFO. Six months later, when budget cuts came, Finance called him first to collaborate on where to trim. His projects survived. Others didn't.

The difference? He knew what kept the CFO up at night. When cuts were inevitable, he was a partner in the solution, not a victim of the decision.

Your move

Look at your calendar right now. If you don't have standing 1-on-1s with at least three peers outside your department, block 30 minutes this week to set them up.

Why this works: Influence isn't about authority. It's about relationships. And relationships are built in the boring, consistent conversations nobody else is having.

The leaders who get things done aren't necessarily smarter or more strategic. They just know more people. And those people actually return their calls.


You're great at the work. Now make it visible.

If you need help building influence across your organization, let's talk: jessestaffordcoaching.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Candid Communication Isn't Enough

Image
Just about every problem I work through in my role boils down to needing to communicate more and more often. Early on, as an engineering leader, I had to tackle a strange communication problem. I led a small team of 3-4 engineers who supported our production development teams. This team had fully embraced a Scrum mindset, and due to rapid prototyping requirements, the team worked in one-week sprints. This means we had planning, standups, retro, and demos every five days. Between standups and other ceremonies, they collaborated daily, looking for peer reviews and technical support. They were proud of their ability to be direct with each other, not needing to "sugarcoat" the message. Yet there was still a problem. The team was always working in drastically different directions and at various technical levels, constantly bickering about what needed to be done. One-on-ones with me were full of complaints about other team members and were always heated. How could there be such...
Read more

You Should Mix up Your 1-on-1 Locations

Image
Embrace the flexibility of varying the locations of one-on-one conversations to foster a more open-minded and adaptable leadership approach. Talking to your team members is the most important way to spend your time as a leader. However, if you always have those conversations at the same time and place, then you are likely only experiencing part of the information. This post is a follow-up to another titled What does a good 1-on-1 look like? Check out this guidance there to learn some tips on structuring the conversation. Where the one-on-one happens has an interesting impact on the types of conversations you will have. In this post, I’ll explore some options of places to host conversations and some of the pros and cons based on my own leadership experience. In general, in-office meetings tend to be more closed and problem-focused, outdoor meetings are often more happy and solution-focused, and virtual meetings depend on where your team member is sitting at the time. Additionally...
Read more

Professional Relationships Drive Career Growth

Image
Are you a university student worried about securing a job after graduation? Or are you a leader finding it difficult to receive adequate support from other teams or departments? You may also be searching for something to help you stand out for your next career growth opportunity. Many people misunderstand the value of having and building professional relationships. Building relationships can improve your career in many situations. However, you must start now! Professional relationships work best when you have them before you need them. Nobody likes hearing from you only when you need something. Think about that friend who only calls when they are moving 😊. You're being held back because you haven’t yet invested enough in professional relationships! Value of Professional Relationships Over years of supporting people’s careers, I have observed that people on upward trajectories have something that sets them apart. In school, being smart or working hard will often set you a...
Read more